HAYWIRE

You know how there is some movies you anticipate for months, even years to see, praying to God you don’t die horribly before the release date? Haywire was not one of those. It was a sneaky flic that didn’t advertise much and was in and out of theaters faster than you could order a delicious double-double from INnOUT burger. yep.

Plot wise, there is nothing new about Haywire. Actually, everything in this film feels like I jumped in a phonebooth and time traveled back in history to the 1970’s. I’ve grown to really respect that decade even though it didn’t have me walking around it in. The comics were in a bronze age, the music was deemed classic, and the movies were getting all serious. A lot of sophisticated, violent and surreal art house films were popular at the time, and there was also a ton of cheap B-movies and midnight cinema. Haywire is kind of a homage to the latter.

Like Robert Rodriguez  and Quentin Tarantino before him, Steven Soderbergh gives us some grindhouse flare, but plays it cool and not over the top.

The story revolves around a badass chick named Malorie(played by badass chick Gina Carano) who is a spy type person who gets betrayed by her organization and goes around beating up a whole bunch of leading men. Ewan McGregor, Antonio Banderas, Michael Fassbender (FASSBENDER!!) and Channing Tatum( come on, is that a real name?)  all get their teeth kicked in. Was that a spoiler alert? I don’t think so.

Channing Tatum = what happens when the world runs out of names

Gina Carano is a real life MMA fighter and  former American Gladiator. She’s like a female jason Statham; running around , glaring at people.  It’s a good thing there’s a female Jason Statham, because my feelings for him were reaching a level that was going to force me to make some alternative life choices.

Haywire feels like it loves action movies, and I love that because I love action movies. The chases and fights feel grounded and gritty, without high-tech gadgetry or much special affects. It’s nothing new, but it does everything right, like a delicious INnOUT  cheeseburger that hits the spot.

Now, if they made a movie about a cheeseburger who gets revenge on the spy  organization that betrayed him, that would be something I would pay to see. In 3D.

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4 thoughts on “HAYWIRE

  1. “It’s a good thing there’s a female Jason Statham, because my feelings for him were reaching a level that was going to force me to make some alternative life choices.”

    Best line.

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